after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
