I'm gonna have a badass scar
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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