it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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