Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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