Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
