Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
