I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
