while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
