butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
