i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
