I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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