yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
