her vagine was all disorganized.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
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smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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