Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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