in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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