One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
