omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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