dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
