Kiss
Puke
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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