Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
