If i come over, it means nothing
another moral hangover. fuck.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
