I think i sorta joined a cult last night
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
