omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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