lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
