yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I would ride that face into the sunset
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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