break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
