You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
