I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
