Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
