Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
