he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
