I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
