Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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