if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
