so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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