The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize