Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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