More tranny stories later!
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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