No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We were destined to go to rehab together
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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