Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
