your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
