Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
