just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I believe in your delicious
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
