i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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