you traded sex for a burrito?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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