Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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