Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
