Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I need help removing her.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
