just tell him i said nine months
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
