whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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