Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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