If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
