Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
