They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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