My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
