Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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