You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
