What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
