Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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