you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
