i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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