the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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