i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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