morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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