Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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