You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize