I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
