The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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