We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
