im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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