didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
