WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My feet surprised me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
