hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize