I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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