I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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