You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize