I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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