I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
