Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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